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In order to move to a place of compassion we each must dissolve the internal psychological structure known as the inner critic or superego.<\/p>\n
This post, the first in a series, discusses this core work on the path of integrating psychology, spirituality and conflict resolution.<\/p>\n
We begin with the first step in this process: learning to recognize the inner critic inside.<\/p>\n
For a related post on the superego (inner critic) and interpersonal conflict, press here<\/a>.<\/p>\n For more on Elizabeth Bader’s work,\u00a0press here.<\/a><\/p>\n The human tendency to judge ourselves and others poses formidable problems in every area of human endeavor, including mediation, client counseling, coaching and spiritual practice.<\/p>\n For spiritual practitioners judgment is a problem because, although \u201cit is in the very nature of the mind to compare and evaluate,\u201d\u00a0<\/sup> [1],<\/em><\/a>\u00a0 judgment takes us out of the present moment.<\/p>\n Accordingly, in many spiritual practices, such as mindfulness, practitioners are told to \u201ccultivat[e] a non-judging attitude toward what comes up in the mind, come what may.\u201d[2]<\/a><\/p>\n But this is not an easy task.<\/p>\n In work with other people, whether in coaching or in mediation, the capacity to move beyond judgment is indispensable.<\/p>\n Why?<\/p>\n People feel and\u00a0 know when they are not being judged.\u00a0 It is actually a rare experience.\u00a0 A sense of greater openness and trust occurs quite naturally and quickly when it occurs.<\/p>\n This is where psychology, spirituality and conflict resolution meet.<\/p>\n Unfortunately,\u00a0 as A. H. Almaas (Hameed Ali)<\/a> has explained, our tendency to judge is so automatic that we often confuse it with\u00a0 true conscience or discrimination. This can block our deeper, inherent knowing of what is or is not appropriate or to establish real relationships capable of producing real change.[3] <\/a><\/p>\n In the West, it was Sigmund Freud who discovered there is in each of us an internal critic that watches and judges us.[4]<\/a>\u00a0 He named it the superego.[5]<\/a><\/p>\n For Freud, the superego is only one of the three major structural elements of the psyche.\u00a0 As shown below, the other two are the “id” (roughly, the libidinal and instinctive drives), and the “ego,” (roughly, our ordinary sense of who we are).<\/p>\n As many people have found,\u00a0 however, one can profit from understanding and working with the superego\/inner critic without being a Freudian.<\/p>\n In popular parlance, the superego has been called the inner critic,[6]<\/a> judge,[7]<\/a> the voice of judgment,[8]<\/a> or the accuser.[9]<\/a>\u00a0 The terms inner critic and superego will be used interchangeably here.<\/p>\n There are many theories about how and why the inner critic in us develops, including those articulated by Freud,[10]<\/a> and others,[11]<\/a> including recently, neuropsychoanalysts.[12]<\/a><\/p>\n People talking about the inner critic\/superego, particularly New Age folks,\u00a0 frequently treat the inner critic as if it were a real person inside one’s head.<\/p>\n But this is misleading. It causes us to overlook one of its most important characteristics: it is the master of the double bind.<\/p>\n Stated another way, people often overlook the fact that the superego\/inner critic is a psychological mechanism that performs the function of judging automatically. <\/em> It is not necessarily logical or consistent.<\/p>\n The superego\/inner critic therefore can and frequently does judge us negatively for both doing and not doing the same act.<\/p>\n Freud noted this aspect of the superego.\u00a0 As he said, the superego\u2019s<\/p>\n \u201crelation to the ego is not exhausted by the precept: \u2018You ought <\/i>to be <\/i>like this (like your father).\u2019 It also comprises the prohibition: \u2018You may not be<\/i> like this (like your father) . . .\u2019\u201d\u00a0[20]<\/a><\/p>\n The superego comes in, judging us for failing to “really live life,” and urges:<\/p>\n “Go ahead and have the guts to eat that ice cream for once.\u00a0 Live a little.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n During and after indulging in this little treat, we may then hear a new voice saying:<\/p>\n “You know you should have stayed on that diet. No wonder your blood sugar is crashing.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n \u00a0In other words, we are “damned” if we do, and damned if we don’t.<\/p>\n \u00a0Yet, we often fail to recognize this “no-win” situation because the voice of the inner critic\/superego ostensibly seems so “logical.”<\/p>\n Related Posts:<\/strong><\/p>\n The Superego in Conflict Resolution<\/a><\/p>\n Beyond the Superego<\/a>:\u00a0 A Musical Offering<\/p>\n Subsequent posts:<\/p>\n \u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0 Subsequent posts will discuss the superego\/inner critic, and its role in conflict resolution and spirituality, in greater depth. Topics covered will include:<\/p>\n Please subscribe or send Elizabeth an email if you would like to receive the updates or learn more about her work<\/p>\n Footnotes:<\/strong><\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Jon Kabat-Zinn, \u201cNon-judging,\u201d <\/i>in Wherever You Go There You Are 56 (1994).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [2]<\/a> Id.<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n [3]<\/a>\u00a0 This paper draws in part upon the work of Faisal Muquddam and A. H. Almaas (Hameed Ali)<\/a>, the heads of the Diamondlogos and Ridhwan schools, respectively. Relatively little has been written about their work from the specific perspective of working on the superego.\u00a0\u00a0 Almaas (Ali)<\/a> wrote a brilliant, small work called “Work on the Superego,” published in 1992.<\/p>\n However, Elizabeth Bader has concerns about that part of Almaas’ (Ali’s)<\/a> discussion that focuses on conflict resolution, particularly the suggestion that the counselor working with couples in conflict should consider “playing out” a party’s superego. Elizabeth’s concern is that the party might experience this as, in effect, attacking him, regardless of the counselor’s good intentions.\u00a0 Further, while a rare counselor or mediator might be able to do this skillfully, few counselors have the expertise to do this well, or with sufficient humility.<\/p>\n Another excellent book, written by one of A.H. Almaas\u2019 students and associates in the Ridhwan School, is Soul Without Shame: A Guide to Liberating Yourself From the Judge Within, by Byron Brown (1999).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [4]<\/a> Sigmund Freud, \u201cOn Narcissism: An Introduction,\u201d in<\/i> The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud (trans., J. Strachey 1967) reprinted in <\/i>\u201cEssential Papers on Narcissism 37-38 (Andrew P. Morrison ed., 1986).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [5]<\/a> See e.g. Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents, 84 (trans. and ed. J. Strachey, 1961, based on J. Riviere, trans. 1930).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [6]<\/a> Hal and Sidra Stone, Embracing Your Inner Critic: Turning Self-Criticism into a Creative Asset (1992).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [7]<\/a> Brown, supra<\/i> note 3.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [8]<\/a> Michael Ray and Michelle Myers, Creativity in Business<\/i> (1986).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [9]<\/a> Timothy Butler, Getting Unstuck: How Dead Ends Become New Paths 31-37 (2007).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [10]<\/a> See e.g., Sigmund Freud, The Ego and the Id 31-33 (trans. Joan Riviere, rev. and ed. James Strachey, 1960).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [11]<\/a> See generally \u201cThe Superego\u2014A Vital or Supplanted Concept?\u201d 24(2) Psychoanal. Inquiry 141-339 (special edition of essays on the superego ed. by Leon Wurmser, 2004).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [12]<\/a> See Robin L. Carhart-Harris et al., \u201cMourning and Melancholia revised: correspondences between principles of Freudian metapsychology and empirical findings in neuropsychiatry,\u201d<\/i> Ann. Gen. Psychiatry, available from http:\/\/www.annals-general-psychiatry.com\/content\/7\/1\/9<\/a>. (\u201cIt is highly unlikely that the ego ideal\/super ego is housed in any specific region of the brain but we may speculate about dynamic physiological processes paralleling psychological ones.\u201d)\u00a0 Some people have also rejected Freud\u2019s concept of the superego for reasons outside the scope of this paper.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [13]<\/a> Freud, supra <\/i>note 4 at 37, <\/b>and note 6 at 100. \u00a0(The function of the superego \u201cconsists in keeping a watch over the actions and intentions of the ego and judging them, in exercising a censorship.\u201d)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n [14]<\/a> Brown, supra<\/i> note 3 at 19.<\/p>\n<\/div>\nThe Inner Critic\/Superego: Obstacle on the Spiritual Journey and During Conflict Resolution <\/strong><\/h4>\n
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<\/a>\u00a0The Inner Critic Has Many Names
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<\/a><\/p>\nCharacteristics of the Superego\/Inner Critic<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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<\/a>For our purposes, the important point is to learn to recognize and work with this psychological structure within.\u00a0 The superego\/inner critic:<\/p>\n\n
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The Superego is A Psychological Mechanism, Not a Person Inside Your Head<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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Do and Don’t Eat the Ice Cream<\/strong><\/h4>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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<\/a>To take an example suggested by Faisal Muqaddam<\/a> say we feel like having ice cream.<\/p>\n\n
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